What is love? A question that has been asked for generations upon centuries, and has yet to find a true answer. A rhetorical question by habit, yet there are answers floating about here and there. What is my answer? "What is love?" cannot be answered at all for it is intangible, an abstraction. Hate cannot be truly defined either since a thing cannot truly exist for a time without having an opposite co-existing, one cannot come into light without the other in a sense. Now, one might say, "Neil, both words appear in the dictionary, not even you cannot deny physical evidence like that." to which I merely give this response, "Those are definitions of the actions and repercussions of the actions that result from the intangibles passing through the world."
"Why is this post entitled, Definition of Love, if there is no definition for love, nor hate for the sake of being complete." Now, that is a valid question, and I sit here typing this post with this to say. Each person has his or her attempt of defining the term whether they know it or not. Everyone has felt some level of love and hate whether they acknowledge it or not, whether is buried deep within the unconscious lost due to lack of rehearsal or other such memorial devices. This is my definition as it stands on this date at this time.
Love is...
caring for someone more than you believe was even possible for caring for them.
Now, this seems very simple following such a build up and the fact that it has been debated over for years through families and friends, acquaintances and strangers, for generations upon decades upon centuries from the moment the concept was even conceived. BUT, it is so broad and non-exact. It does not constrain to a strange level nor allow thoughts to err to different topics. I left out things such as "you would do anything for them" as that does not really relate to most situations and it seems more directed to the passionate love whereas I am trying to speak towards the general love. Love of family, love of friends, love of self.
So, I have grown to love so of the people I see from day to day life and (maybe due to paranoia) I haven't really felt the love reciprocated back to me. And, sadly, I have made myself an example of how love is not something that needs to be reciprocated, but can just be merely given. That, in my opinion, is what Christianity wants of people. To be kind to others without the hope of receiving anything in return. That is what builds up true karma for Buddhist, I think. Two major religions thus agree on this one point which is such a rare occurrence, it should be taken into perspective and let it cause you awe.
Edit: 2/25/08
Having not reread what I wrote, but being inspired on defining the difference between being inlove and merely loving someone, I decided that I have a worthy venture in which to engulf my mind. However, I feel it is fairly simple to discuss the difference between the two states of being, seeing as that is what they are. If I were to love someone, then I have a deep, hard to cause to flinch gut feeling towards the protection of that person's livelihood. I love my friends proportionately along the hierarchy of friendship that could be discussed at another time. If I were to be in love, my feelings for that person are so deep that nearly nothing could cause me to even question my connection to that person. I would likely cast my life away for any of my friends, however for a person with whom I am in love, I would not even give a second thought to casting my life down to save hers. To be in love is to be happy and though I have no idea what happiness is, I feel that any person would be able to recognize this emotion if it arose.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Monday, October 02, 2006
My Application Essay
The Prompt:
You are hosting a brunch for historical, literary, or other disreputable persons (think: Mad Hatter's Tea Party). What is your menu? Who are your guests? In answering this question, imagine a scenario: We want some exposition, serious or silly, we would accept some dialogue, and we are willing to trust you to respond in such a way that your brain power, your imagination, your sense of taste, and your capacity to tell a story reveal something true about you.
The Essay:
In preparation for a brunch honoring the head members of Pandemonium featured in John Milton’s Paradise Lost, I would plan to invite, in addition to those of the Pandemonium, Death, Sin, God, the archangel Michael, Zeus, Hera, Hades, and Demeter. The lives of the demons of Pandemonium have been forlorn since they were cast out of heaven for a fallacious rebellion against God who they saw as the wrong-doer. The particular demons I plan to invite, and I deem the head members of Pandemonium, are Satan, Mammon, Moloch, Beelzebub, and Belial. I feel that they are deserving of at least a nice meal honoring their valiant attempts for purifying the heavens. Satan is dubbed leader of Pandemonium, and symbolizes both wrath and vengeance. He holds an eternal grudge against God since he sees his exile as wrongful. Mammon is a demon of greed, and asked that they make use of their plight and look at it for the best; in opposition to this, Moloch desires all out warfare against heaven which caused their initial downfall. Beelzebub suggests the tainted of God’s newest creation, mankind, and Belial says that they should bide their time for a better time to strike. Satan agrees with Beelzebub, and tries to break apart mankind. Both Death and Sin would be invited for the purpose of trying to alleviate some tension between Satan, the head demon of Pandemonium, and them. In some sense, Sin is Satan’s daughter. She arose from Satan’s head akin to Athena arising from Zeus’s head. Differentiating from the classical myth, Sin was impregnated with Satan’s child without Satan even knowing Sin, and she gave birth to Death. Due to this complex situation, tension has built between the three characters, and Death developed an Oedipus complex. God is invited so to clear up any and all grudges held against him; this is to avoid any destructive ramifications from the actions of all the other characters. However Michael is invited to protect God if necessary, and to represent the cast of angels left in Heaven. The four Greek Pantheon gods are invited for the purpose of discussing issues of allowing Christianity to become a dominant faith in the society. Zeus is picked for this brunch in particular since he can be juxtaposed beside God in a sense, and can understand Satan’s plight in a sense. Hera is invited since she is Zeus’s wife and because she can be seen as one exemplifying moral conduct, even though she endless attempts vengeance against Aeneas. Hades is invited since he can be seen as a foil to Satan, and thus can understand his plight. He also inhabits Hell beside the rest of Pandemonium, though it is at a transition phase between the two at the time of Paradise Lost. Demeter is invited for the purpose of making sure the food is at its peak and works well for the gods. Also, in consideration, many aspects of Paradise Lost were based off actions from Greek and Roman mythology; a third reasoning arises from the fact that these gods were the predecessors of many of the aspects that the characters have.
So as to avoid any sort of embarrassment, I would ask Demeter to help me prepare the menu that would be served at the brunch. The first idea I would suggest to Demeter as to making for the brunch would be various small pastries with different flavors of icing and filling. This would include such things as cherry tarts with a frosting comprised of strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries. This would bring about a savory blend of tastes that would excite even the palettes of gods. Muffins are a dish which all peoples since their first creation have enjoyed and savored. They would make a great addition to the brunch and can be seen as a staple for brunches. To some people, the quality of the muffins produced by a bakery defines how good the bakery truly is. Because of this point, this would make a great discussion piece between the deities at the tables and may be able to bring the people closer together. The final delicacy that would be included at this event would be ambrosia since it is the bread of gods. This would have to be included as Demeter herself would be making the food for the crowd. In legend, it was held that this food would make the eater immortal and happy. This, as with many of the food choices, would bring together those attending the brunch. The baked goods would go along with a variety of fine teas and coffees so as to calm the guests and allow for an atmosphere filled with kindness towards each other. Heavier consideration would have to be used when choosing the wine for the brunch, as deities are always portrayed drinking wines at every meal. It is hard to condone drinking at such an early hour as brunch time, but pleasing the gods is a hard task on its own without taking in morality. Additionally, many of the guests do not consider the morals that humans hold as applicable to them. With so much work put into the meal, Demeter would then ensure that the brunch would be well publicized so that all the guests would be anxious for the day. Also, the meal would contain all the necessary pieces for a healthy breakfast as the entire supply of foodstuffs would be from Demeter’s own kitchen.
As another preparatory matter, I would rent a large field far away from any residential areas so as to protect innocent bystanders from harm’s way and to ward off any unwanted guests that would join the festivities and cause trouble such as Loki of Norse mythology. Loki is the god of trickery, and he causes a host of unwanted events to occur whenever he goes. If he were to appear that the brunch, all out chaos would ensue.
Tables would be set up in a large U-shaped fashion with gaps in between separate table since food would be placed on movable islands in the center of the formation. This would provide room to eat and retrieve food without causing large conflict between the guests. A seating chart would be pre-arranged so to minimize any problems between guests especially between Satan and God, Death and Satan, and Hades and Zeus. In addition, several particular people would be placed near each other so as to incite conversation and build bonds between Christian figures and the classical pagan gods. This would include putting Satan beside Hades to discuss the renovations to the underworld which Satan wants to introduce—expressly Pandemonium. Additionally, Zeus would sit beside God to discuss matters of ruling. Discussion between the guests and me would be held in a podium manner in which I would discuss topics and the guests would discuss amongst themselves their thoughts and possibly speak to the entire crowd on their opinions. These topics would include, but not be limited to: current economic status and plans to further business; the rising rate of divorces in America and in the last few decades around the world; and the separation of church and state including its values and repercussions. The discussion would then end with a nice game of miniature golf so as try to lighten the spite between the members of the guest list.
You are hosting a brunch for historical, literary, or other disreputable persons (think: Mad Hatter's Tea Party). What is your menu? Who are your guests? In answering this question, imagine a scenario: We want some exposition, serious or silly, we would accept some dialogue, and we are willing to trust you to respond in such a way that your brain power, your imagination, your sense of taste, and your capacity to tell a story reveal something true about you.
The Essay:
In preparation for a brunch honoring the head members of Pandemonium featured in John Milton’s Paradise Lost, I would plan to invite, in addition to those of the Pandemonium, Death, Sin, God, the archangel Michael, Zeus, Hera, Hades, and Demeter. The lives of the demons of Pandemonium have been forlorn since they were cast out of heaven for a fallacious rebellion against God who they saw as the wrong-doer. The particular demons I plan to invite, and I deem the head members of Pandemonium, are Satan, Mammon, Moloch, Beelzebub, and Belial. I feel that they are deserving of at least a nice meal honoring their valiant attempts for purifying the heavens. Satan is dubbed leader of Pandemonium, and symbolizes both wrath and vengeance. He holds an eternal grudge against God since he sees his exile as wrongful. Mammon is a demon of greed, and asked that they make use of their plight and look at it for the best; in opposition to this, Moloch desires all out warfare against heaven which caused their initial downfall. Beelzebub suggests the tainted of God’s newest creation, mankind, and Belial says that they should bide their time for a better time to strike. Satan agrees with Beelzebub, and tries to break apart mankind. Both Death and Sin would be invited for the purpose of trying to alleviate some tension between Satan, the head demon of Pandemonium, and them. In some sense, Sin is Satan’s daughter. She arose from Satan’s head akin to Athena arising from Zeus’s head. Differentiating from the classical myth, Sin was impregnated with Satan’s child without Satan even knowing Sin, and she gave birth to Death. Due to this complex situation, tension has built between the three characters, and Death developed an Oedipus complex. God is invited so to clear up any and all grudges held against him; this is to avoid any destructive ramifications from the actions of all the other characters. However Michael is invited to protect God if necessary, and to represent the cast of angels left in Heaven. The four Greek Pantheon gods are invited for the purpose of discussing issues of allowing Christianity to become a dominant faith in the society. Zeus is picked for this brunch in particular since he can be juxtaposed beside God in a sense, and can understand Satan’s plight in a sense. Hera is invited since she is Zeus’s wife and because she can be seen as one exemplifying moral conduct, even though she endless attempts vengeance against Aeneas. Hades is invited since he can be seen as a foil to Satan, and thus can understand his plight. He also inhabits Hell beside the rest of Pandemonium, though it is at a transition phase between the two at the time of Paradise Lost. Demeter is invited for the purpose of making sure the food is at its peak and works well for the gods. Also, in consideration, many aspects of Paradise Lost were based off actions from Greek and Roman mythology; a third reasoning arises from the fact that these gods were the predecessors of many of the aspects that the characters have.
So as to avoid any sort of embarrassment, I would ask Demeter to help me prepare the menu that would be served at the brunch. The first idea I would suggest to Demeter as to making for the brunch would be various small pastries with different flavors of icing and filling. This would include such things as cherry tarts with a frosting comprised of strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries. This would bring about a savory blend of tastes that would excite even the palettes of gods. Muffins are a dish which all peoples since their first creation have enjoyed and savored. They would make a great addition to the brunch and can be seen as a staple for brunches. To some people, the quality of the muffins produced by a bakery defines how good the bakery truly is. Because of this point, this would make a great discussion piece between the deities at the tables and may be able to bring the people closer together. The final delicacy that would be included at this event would be ambrosia since it is the bread of gods. This would have to be included as Demeter herself would be making the food for the crowd. In legend, it was held that this food would make the eater immortal and happy. This, as with many of the food choices, would bring together those attending the brunch. The baked goods would go along with a variety of fine teas and coffees so as to calm the guests and allow for an atmosphere filled with kindness towards each other. Heavier consideration would have to be used when choosing the wine for the brunch, as deities are always portrayed drinking wines at every meal. It is hard to condone drinking at such an early hour as brunch time, but pleasing the gods is a hard task on its own without taking in morality. Additionally, many of the guests do not consider the morals that humans hold as applicable to them. With so much work put into the meal, Demeter would then ensure that the brunch would be well publicized so that all the guests would be anxious for the day. Also, the meal would contain all the necessary pieces for a healthy breakfast as the entire supply of foodstuffs would be from Demeter’s own kitchen.
As another preparatory matter, I would rent a large field far away from any residential areas so as to protect innocent bystanders from harm’s way and to ward off any unwanted guests that would join the festivities and cause trouble such as Loki of Norse mythology. Loki is the god of trickery, and he causes a host of unwanted events to occur whenever he goes. If he were to appear that the brunch, all out chaos would ensue.
Tables would be set up in a large U-shaped fashion with gaps in between separate table since food would be placed on movable islands in the center of the formation. This would provide room to eat and retrieve food without causing large conflict between the guests. A seating chart would be pre-arranged so to minimize any problems between guests especially between Satan and God, Death and Satan, and Hades and Zeus. In addition, several particular people would be placed near each other so as to incite conversation and build bonds between Christian figures and the classical pagan gods. This would include putting Satan beside Hades to discuss the renovations to the underworld which Satan wants to introduce—expressly Pandemonium. Additionally, Zeus would sit beside God to discuss matters of ruling. Discussion between the guests and me would be held in a podium manner in which I would discuss topics and the guests would discuss amongst themselves their thoughts and possibly speak to the entire crowd on their opinions. These topics would include, but not be limited to: current economic status and plans to further business; the rising rate of divorces in America and in the last few decades around the world; and the separation of church and state including its values and repercussions. The discussion would then end with a nice game of miniature golf so as try to lighten the spite between the members of the guest list.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Bear Path reminiscence
Meagan and I have been trying to post this entry onto livejournal since SATURDAY, JULY 29...jesus tap dancing christ, LJ was being evil to us...well, here is waht i was trying to say
Well, went to Shaina Gamache's birthday/pool party today, spent a lot of time with Jenn Mansfield and Matt Earl, good stuff. But, so much time with Matt in 3+ hours of the same poker game just because the four of us; Amy,Matt,Ethan and everyone in between untiScott, and me, and he toyed with my OCD, made me keep betting lots of chips just to keep my stacks organized. Anyways, all that time made me want to talk about the kids from Bear Path, class of 01.
And, on a seperate note, anyone listed her at all that wants to talk to me, seriously, just come and talk to me...i want to talk, i miss you all, and want to connect back to my roots somehow...i miss the bear path kids, even though i have grown to despise in one way or another (which, oddly enough, coming back to write this, is no one listed her at all...and i listed the entire Bear Path class of 2001)
Alphabetically, starting with Ms. Carlson's class (I am looking at the yearbook from then, just going in order, hitting everyone with a paragraph or something) I will speak about them, and what the hell my relationship to them is now. I am just trying to get a grip on my life and wondering who is all the way from my roots...
Sophia Alexandrov: Always first, that has got to be a pain. I haven't really seen her very much, she was in my study hall, but she sat with the other juniors and stuff while I sat with a bunch of seniors, and spoke mostly to Carl Anderson (to his disdain, probably?) Matt Mirando, Jeff Lipton, Morgan (not even going to attempt last name), Dave M (nor Dave's last name, since I never really knew it) and Liz Kaville (for the first semester at least), and DJ Vagini...yup, ANYWAYS, Sophia is cool in my book, and she at least gives me the time of day unlike some other people.
Anthony Aranci: I barely see this kid ever, and he doesnt really speak to me much otherwise. I miss seeing him get pretty damn hurt every single year in some weird fashion...
Chris Clement: Used to be one of my best friends, got disconnected though. People are saying he is gay, and all I say is, good to know, if I start hanging out with him again, wont try to hook him up with a chick. That's just how it goes down. We haven't spoken in a while, wonder if he remembers me much...
Me: Yeah, just for the hell of it, putting myself here. I hate me...
Mike Delillo: I think he is doing fine, I am almost sure if I said hello to him, he'd remember me. Whether that matters or not, I dunno. Never was really connected with him.
Dan Dowling: He remembers me, and will speak to him if I address him, otherwise, don't speak to him, he doesnt approach me or anything. He seems to be doing fine, haven't heard anything on the grapevine about him, then again, no one tells me jack. Please people, I want to hear what people are saying whether it is for my own good or not, I want to hear rumors, i wont spread them, but be nice to know what people are thinking...ANYWAYS, Steve Dowling spoke to me from time to time since we were in crew together, but besides that (and buying flowers at the Dowling Florist) i have no interaction with this family anymore =(
Emma Doyle: Cool gal, I had Criminal Law with her sophmore year...i think she's friends with Justin Scalzo who I speak to from time to time. Both of them are in a whole distant social sphere, and I laugh when people say high school isnt split into cliques...
MATT EARL: One of the ONLY kids from Bear Path that speaks to me on a regular basis when we run into each other. I have just recently (within the last six months) realize that I ought to value this a whole lot. I've known him since 3RD GRADE! Only like Dan Brownell and the Dowling brothers have known me longer. He is so boring and monotonous, but I cant help but still love this kid. He said it while playing poker, "Senior year, can you believe that?" jeez, its some crazy shit...
Joe Elliott: Haven't really spoken to him much, but when we see each other, we give each other hellos. He lives up the fucking street from me, why dont I have that much interaction with him? Need to work on that, most definately...and talk to Sarah too, since that just might be easier...
Ellen Hilton: Oh, Ellen...basically, she is cool in my book, and I wish I got to see her more. I have somehow spent more time with Ray than with her, which is a bit ridiculous seeing that the only interaction with Ray was seeing him every morning before school offically started.
Divya Krishna: Yay, generic emails being sent to class representatives! that is the only interaction with Divya I really get, she was in my Pre-Calc class this year though, doubt she will be in Stat since I think she is taking Calculus AB
Diana Lupher: I still say that wiffleball game was tipped against us...but, besides that, Diana and I, i guess we speak to each other...when she or her friends decide to come up to me and talk. Which reminds me, why are women never alone?
Johnna Meehan: She was really cute, i rememebr that from elementary school. But she moved somewhere, and I havent heard from her ever at all. I wonder how she is doing...
Henry (Hank) O'Donnell: Was in my study hall, like Sophia, but somehow, I actually speak to him every once in a while. I don't know how that works, but Hank is fucking ridiculous like that. He's a cool kid in my book, and one of the few kids in one of the social spheres far distance from mine that will talk to me regardless of his surroundings. I respect that, need to talk to him more. Chances are, I will get that chance this year...
Sarah Orensteen: She is fucking tall now. lol, she is a cool cat, need to talk to her more.
Nick Panaroni: Haven't spoken to him in a long ass while, dunno how he is doing. Don't know if I care much, but be nice to hear he is doing okay. He is cool in my book, but that is only because I dunno what he is up to at all.
David Penketh: He is such a loner, he needs to not do that as much. We at least speak whenever we see each other, and its always an in depth conversation somehow no matter how it looks, and that little amount of tiemw e actually have to talk.
Jessica Pohlman: What happened to her?
Julie Rothbard: I absolutely love this girl, she's been one of my friends for like ever, and I don't ever get a chance to spend time with her. Its a huge shame, I would love to spend time with her because she is awesome. Her mom talks to me too. I guess I could practically treat her like a sister to me. Would do whatever I could to help her.
Kevin Small: Haven't heard anything about him since Scratch N Sniff, which is something I can't actually talk about.
Durell White: We speak from time to time, definately gets major points in my book because he is awesome and hasnt really changed much, but then again, havent really got a chance to see if he has changed much.
Ben Zacarelli: What can I say that Liz won't say herself. Well, I need to hang out with him more, with or without Liz...doesnt matter much to me. He is a cool cat in my book, I have huge respect for drummers since its such an underlooked class of musician and Chad Sexton is a hero of mine
William Zinn: Cool cat, spent a lot of time with him this year...we call it AP American Studies. We always worked together which is good. I wish I valued spending time with old friends more though...
MRS McCALLUM'S CLASS!!!!
Kyle Amarone: Pretty much the same as Nick Panaroni...look up for that.
Scotney Andrews: What has happened to this tall guy? Haven't heard nor seen anything about him, and you can't miss this guy, he's a fucking giant.
Elizabeth Attard: Never spoke to her much, but still, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HER? she like disappeared...
Dan Brownell: It would be nice to spend time with him, he is a cool cat, and lives up the street from me. Still wonder how I don't get to spend any time with him...
Sean Buckley: This guy practically disappeared on me though he is definately somewhere in HHS...
TIM CELLINI: God, i love this kid. Such a fucking loser, but he is soo great. Man, i need to spend a whole lot of time with him before he disappears, because he will definately disappear until class reunion time...
Steven Charbonneau: I dont get to talk to him enough, if I got to talk to him a few times a week, then it'd be great, otherwise, doing pretty good with Steve.
Gregg Corso: Who? I dont remember this kid at all...
Kaitlyn DeFelice: Haven't heard much from her. I think Kascey would know though...Matt might know too. Last few things I remember about her, some sort of horse tattoo...and i think someone by the last name DeFelice was the guy who hit Taylor Simko...i dunno, not much can be said about a guy who gets hit by a truck while being stoned and riding a bike...
Nick Demarco: Havent really heard much about him either. He's in my homeroom i think...
Jeanette Esposito: I am looking at her screen name on my buddy list...but I have not spoken to her in forever. I think I have lost connection with her, dont know if better or worse, but if its for worse or neutral, i want to talk to her, she is a cool cat in my book
Tony Galardi: Same old, dont talk to him much...or at all...dont think he remembers me though
Danny Laudati: Well...havent talked to him much...or at all, nice follow-up to Tony I guess?
Eliza Leone: I see her from time to time, she is doing fine, she's nice and at least gives me the time of day, and sometimes a doughnut if I am in the mood to buy one...
Mike Miller: Cool cat, dunno if he went to Shepard Glen with Dan Brownell and Dowling, but I think he did...i feel that he did, but i cant be sure. He is a sick cool cat though, wish I got to actually spend some time with him instead of working together in the same room almost everyday without any quality conversation.
Anthony Mongillo: Man, i miss this kid. He has disappeared completely, dont see him anywhere. He is definately someone that disappeared that I want back for at least a bit. He is the kind of kid that you want to tackle on the asphalt and punch in the face, then help him up, bring him to some restaurant or some food chain and buy him a soda with your own money...then ditch him completely with a note that we should do this again sometime, and maybe talk...
Blake Orser: I realized he was in my study hall at least for the second semester during a bake sale when he was 2 tables away. Besides that, I never see him, and never talk to him...i didnt even talk to him then.
Brittany Panaroni: I strangely vividly remember going to the Corner Deli one day, and seeing her and her mom there with some of her friends. And, she didnt say hello, nor any sort of glance of recognition...then again, i wasnt looking at her, i just heard her...because you really HEAR her more often than you see her. So, maybe she remembers me, maybe not. I dunno. I dont know if I want to talk to her at all, as she is loud, but it wouldnt be too bad. She's a nice girl deep down, at least that is what I remember.
Brittany Piekert: i think the yearbook spells her last name wrong, but I cant tell right now, as she isnt online. I miss her so dearly, she moved to Massachusetts after sixth grade, and I havent seen her since. But I love her, so very, very much. She is fucking awesome. Why aren't maybe local girls like her?
Mike Petry: Again, doubting that is correct spelling. Regardless, he lived nextdoor, then he moved a while back, like during middle school or freshman year, if not before that. He was at the wiffleball tournament, and his team ought to have won in my opinion, but whatever. I don't care much. Haven't spoken to him at all, even at the game.
Debra Pierne: A girl with the same birthday as me, yet a couple hours older. You think we ought to at least talk to each other or something of that nature. She was in the wiffleball game tournament too, on Diana's team (say its Diana's since she was listed WAY back in the beginning of this entry) and I still say that game was slanted against us. Walks are not allowed in wiffleball, and they won purely on walks. However, she isn't a horrible girl, i'd talk to her if she wanted to. She is on my buddy list, but I never speak to her at all...its there as a decoration really, lol.
Sam Richetelle: She's a cool cat, I haven't spoken to her in a while, but for some reason, i dont doubt she'd talk to me at all...strangely enough.
SEAN SCHILLO: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS KID! Man, i need to spend time with him sooner or later. He is one of my favorite people and I haven't spent time with him. Sean, if you are reading this, contact me somehow and plan something for us to do. Or invite me along something, i dont care. We need to do stuff together again...
John (Jack) Vets: haven't talked to him...that's it
Anthony Vignola: Spoke to him at most six times in the last year. if six, five of those times were because he was skating in front of the school, and since Pini referenced pool today, i remember that i was going to play pool with Vig and Pini, and the others (including Matt) but had to back out due to snow.
That officially is my whole rant on my sixth grade class...and it wasnt even a rant.
Well, went to Shaina Gamache's birthday/pool party today, spent a lot of time with Jenn Mansfield and Matt Earl, good stuff. But, so much time with Matt in 3+ hours of the same poker game just because the four of us; Amy,Matt,Ethan and everyone in between untiScott, and me, and he toyed with my OCD, made me keep betting lots of chips just to keep my stacks organized. Anyways, all that time made me want to talk about the kids from Bear Path, class of 01.
And, on a seperate note, anyone listed her at all that wants to talk to me, seriously, just come and talk to me...i want to talk, i miss you all, and want to connect back to my roots somehow...i miss the bear path kids, even though i have grown to despise in one way or another (which, oddly enough, coming back to write this, is no one listed her at all...and i listed the entire Bear Path class of 2001)
Alphabetically, starting with Ms. Carlson's class (I am looking at the yearbook from then, just going in order, hitting everyone with a paragraph or something) I will speak about them, and what the hell my relationship to them is now. I am just trying to get a grip on my life and wondering who is all the way from my roots...
Sophia Alexandrov: Always first, that has got to be a pain. I haven't really seen her very much, she was in my study hall, but she sat with the other juniors and stuff while I sat with a bunch of seniors, and spoke mostly to Carl Anderson (to his disdain, probably?) Matt Mirando, Jeff Lipton, Morgan (not even going to attempt last name), Dave M (nor Dave's last name, since I never really knew it) and Liz Kaville (for the first semester at least), and DJ Vagini...yup, ANYWAYS, Sophia is cool in my book, and she at least gives me the time of day unlike some other people.
Anthony Aranci: I barely see this kid ever, and he doesnt really speak to me much otherwise. I miss seeing him get pretty damn hurt every single year in some weird fashion...
Chris Clement: Used to be one of my best friends, got disconnected though. People are saying he is gay, and all I say is, good to know, if I start hanging out with him again, wont try to hook him up with a chick. That's just how it goes down. We haven't spoken in a while, wonder if he remembers me much...
Me: Yeah, just for the hell of it, putting myself here. I hate me...
Mike Delillo: I think he is doing fine, I am almost sure if I said hello to him, he'd remember me. Whether that matters or not, I dunno. Never was really connected with him.
Dan Dowling: He remembers me, and will speak to him if I address him, otherwise, don't speak to him, he doesnt approach me or anything. He seems to be doing fine, haven't heard anything on the grapevine about him, then again, no one tells me jack. Please people, I want to hear what people are saying whether it is for my own good or not, I want to hear rumors, i wont spread them, but be nice to know what people are thinking...ANYWAYS, Steve Dowling spoke to me from time to time since we were in crew together, but besides that (and buying flowers at the Dowling Florist) i have no interaction with this family anymore =(
Emma Doyle: Cool gal, I had Criminal Law with her sophmore year...i think she's friends with Justin Scalzo who I speak to from time to time. Both of them are in a whole distant social sphere, and I laugh when people say high school isnt split into cliques...
MATT EARL: One of the ONLY kids from Bear Path that speaks to me on a regular basis when we run into each other. I have just recently (within the last six months) realize that I ought to value this a whole lot. I've known him since 3RD GRADE! Only like Dan Brownell and the Dowling brothers have known me longer. He is so boring and monotonous, but I cant help but still love this kid. He said it while playing poker, "Senior year, can you believe that?" jeez, its some crazy shit...
Joe Elliott: Haven't really spoken to him much, but when we see each other, we give each other hellos. He lives up the fucking street from me, why dont I have that much interaction with him? Need to work on that, most definately...and talk to Sarah too, since that just might be easier...
Ellen Hilton: Oh, Ellen...basically, she is cool in my book, and I wish I got to see her more. I have somehow spent more time with Ray than with her, which is a bit ridiculous seeing that the only interaction with Ray was seeing him every morning before school offically started.
Divya Krishna: Yay, generic emails being sent to class representatives! that is the only interaction with Divya I really get, she was in my Pre-Calc class this year though, doubt she will be in Stat since I think she is taking Calculus AB
Diana Lupher: I still say that wiffleball game was tipped against us...but, besides that, Diana and I, i guess we speak to each other...when she or her friends decide to come up to me and talk. Which reminds me, why are women never alone?
Johnna Meehan: She was really cute, i rememebr that from elementary school. But she moved somewhere, and I havent heard from her ever at all. I wonder how she is doing...
Henry (Hank) O'Donnell: Was in my study hall, like Sophia, but somehow, I actually speak to him every once in a while. I don't know how that works, but Hank is fucking ridiculous like that. He's a cool kid in my book, and one of the few kids in one of the social spheres far distance from mine that will talk to me regardless of his surroundings. I respect that, need to talk to him more. Chances are, I will get that chance this year...
Sarah Orensteen: She is fucking tall now. lol, she is a cool cat, need to talk to her more.
Nick Panaroni: Haven't spoken to him in a long ass while, dunno how he is doing. Don't know if I care much, but be nice to hear he is doing okay. He is cool in my book, but that is only because I dunno what he is up to at all.
David Penketh: He is such a loner, he needs to not do that as much. We at least speak whenever we see each other, and its always an in depth conversation somehow no matter how it looks, and that little amount of tiemw e actually have to talk.
Jessica Pohlman: What happened to her?
Julie Rothbard: I absolutely love this girl, she's been one of my friends for like ever, and I don't ever get a chance to spend time with her. Its a huge shame, I would love to spend time with her because she is awesome. Her mom talks to me too. I guess I could practically treat her like a sister to me. Would do whatever I could to help her.
Kevin Small: Haven't heard anything about him since Scratch N Sniff, which is something I can't actually talk about.
Durell White: We speak from time to time, definately gets major points in my book because he is awesome and hasnt really changed much, but then again, havent really got a chance to see if he has changed much.
Ben Zacarelli: What can I say that Liz won't say herself. Well, I need to hang out with him more, with or without Liz...doesnt matter much to me. He is a cool cat in my book, I have huge respect for drummers since its such an underlooked class of musician and Chad Sexton is a hero of mine
William Zinn: Cool cat, spent a lot of time with him this year...we call it AP American Studies. We always worked together which is good. I wish I valued spending time with old friends more though...
MRS McCALLUM'S CLASS!!!!
Kyle Amarone: Pretty much the same as Nick Panaroni...look up for that.
Scotney Andrews: What has happened to this tall guy? Haven't heard nor seen anything about him, and you can't miss this guy, he's a fucking giant.
Elizabeth Attard: Never spoke to her much, but still, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HER? she like disappeared...
Dan Brownell: It would be nice to spend time with him, he is a cool cat, and lives up the street from me. Still wonder how I don't get to spend any time with him...
Sean Buckley: This guy practically disappeared on me though he is definately somewhere in HHS...
TIM CELLINI: God, i love this kid. Such a fucking loser, but he is soo great. Man, i need to spend a whole lot of time with him before he disappears, because he will definately disappear until class reunion time...
Steven Charbonneau: I dont get to talk to him enough, if I got to talk to him a few times a week, then it'd be great, otherwise, doing pretty good with Steve.
Gregg Corso: Who? I dont remember this kid at all...
Kaitlyn DeFelice: Haven't heard much from her. I think Kascey would know though...Matt might know too. Last few things I remember about her, some sort of horse tattoo...and i think someone by the last name DeFelice was the guy who hit Taylor Simko...i dunno, not much can be said about a guy who gets hit by a truck while being stoned and riding a bike...
Nick Demarco: Havent really heard much about him either. He's in my homeroom i think...
Jeanette Esposito: I am looking at her screen name on my buddy list...but I have not spoken to her in forever. I think I have lost connection with her, dont know if better or worse, but if its for worse or neutral, i want to talk to her, she is a cool cat in my book
Tony Galardi: Same old, dont talk to him much...or at all...dont think he remembers me though
Danny Laudati: Well...havent talked to him much...or at all, nice follow-up to Tony I guess?
Eliza Leone: I see her from time to time, she is doing fine, she's nice and at least gives me the time of day, and sometimes a doughnut if I am in the mood to buy one...
Mike Miller: Cool cat, dunno if he went to Shepard Glen with Dan Brownell and Dowling, but I think he did...i feel that he did, but i cant be sure. He is a sick cool cat though, wish I got to actually spend some time with him instead of working together in the same room almost everyday without any quality conversation.
Anthony Mongillo: Man, i miss this kid. He has disappeared completely, dont see him anywhere. He is definately someone that disappeared that I want back for at least a bit. He is the kind of kid that you want to tackle on the asphalt and punch in the face, then help him up, bring him to some restaurant or some food chain and buy him a soda with your own money...then ditch him completely with a note that we should do this again sometime, and maybe talk...
Blake Orser: I realized he was in my study hall at least for the second semester during a bake sale when he was 2 tables away. Besides that, I never see him, and never talk to him...i didnt even talk to him then.
Brittany Panaroni: I strangely vividly remember going to the Corner Deli one day, and seeing her and her mom there with some of her friends. And, she didnt say hello, nor any sort of glance of recognition...then again, i wasnt looking at her, i just heard her...because you really HEAR her more often than you see her. So, maybe she remembers me, maybe not. I dunno. I dont know if I want to talk to her at all, as she is loud, but it wouldnt be too bad. She's a nice girl deep down, at least that is what I remember.
Brittany Piekert: i think the yearbook spells her last name wrong, but I cant tell right now, as she isnt online. I miss her so dearly, she moved to Massachusetts after sixth grade, and I havent seen her since. But I love her, so very, very much. She is fucking awesome. Why aren't maybe local girls like her?
Mike Petry: Again, doubting that is correct spelling. Regardless, he lived nextdoor, then he moved a while back, like during middle school or freshman year, if not before that. He was at the wiffleball tournament, and his team ought to have won in my opinion, but whatever. I don't care much. Haven't spoken to him at all, even at the game.
Debra Pierne: A girl with the same birthday as me, yet a couple hours older. You think we ought to at least talk to each other or something of that nature. She was in the wiffleball game tournament too, on Diana's team (say its Diana's since she was listed WAY back in the beginning of this entry) and I still say that game was slanted against us. Walks are not allowed in wiffleball, and they won purely on walks. However, she isn't a horrible girl, i'd talk to her if she wanted to. She is on my buddy list, but I never speak to her at all...its there as a decoration really, lol.
Sam Richetelle: She's a cool cat, I haven't spoken to her in a while, but for some reason, i dont doubt she'd talk to me at all...strangely enough.
SEAN SCHILLO: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS KID! Man, i need to spend time with him sooner or later. He is one of my favorite people and I haven't spent time with him. Sean, if you are reading this, contact me somehow and plan something for us to do. Or invite me along something, i dont care. We need to do stuff together again...
John (Jack) Vets: haven't talked to him...that's it
Anthony Vignola: Spoke to him at most six times in the last year. if six, five of those times were because he was skating in front of the school, and since Pini referenced pool today, i remember that i was going to play pool with Vig and Pini, and the others (including Matt) but had to back out due to snow.
That officially is my whole rant on my sixth grade class...and it wasnt even a rant.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Entry_One
All right. To start, I hate you all =)
This is yet another journal of which I created purely to comment on someone else's journal. The first one being created to comment on the LJ of toothbrush.
Ethan is a jerk. But he is writing a very important literary piece and I must critique him along the way as a good friend should.
Thank you for your time.
Bastet of Lycan
This is yet another journal of which I created purely to comment on someone else's journal. The first one being created to comment on the LJ of toothbrush.
Ethan is a jerk. But he is writing a very important literary piece and I must critique him along the way as a good friend should.
Thank you for your time.
Bastet of Lycan
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